Skip to main content

Panic

By
 If you felt an urge to pray for me this past week, then it was the Spirit working. I had some panic attacks, beginning on Thursday at 2 a.m. when our new dog starting barking and wouldn’t quit till 4 a.m.
When I woke, I felt all my problems crashing down on me. It was agony: shallow breathing, my mind racing from worry to worry, I couldn’t lie down, and I wandered the house till my legs ached. Finally I slept but woke feeling exactly the same. I couldn’t concentrate, and the smallest problem seemed mountainous. Food gave no comfort – I was nauseous. At my morning Bible study, I confessed by weakness and asked for a prayer while fighting back tears.
My work seemed like it was going nowhere, no light at the end of the tunnel, I was stuck in despair, a funk that was never going to end.
The claustrophobic feeling terrified me, but spiritually this was a moment of growth – it stripped away all my props and securities: my family, my work, my health, my finances, my home – they all seemed utterly worthless. I lay down in a hammock and spoke over and over, “Lord, I only have you; Lord, I only have you.” I read Romans 8 about the working of the Holy Spirit within us. I didn’t feel better, but the spiritual reality was true, and I renewed my commitment to the Lord of my life.
I don’t envy anybody who suffers from panic disorder – it must be horrible. My panic attacks were probably a combination of factors: I was getting over a virus (possibly a light strain of dengue fever) and sleep deprivation. Then on Tuesday night, just one day before my attack, I got sprayed by poison. While teaching the kids in the square about Jesus, a truck came by pumping dengue mosquito poison into the air. We tried to get away from it, but it circled the square. Poison inhalation can cause depression.
By Saturday life was back to normal: the world was beautiful again, the sun was shining, and happiness filled me. I felt joy watching the kids playing, and food tasted delicious again. I went to my Bible study with an excitement to share the things I had learned.
            Your prayers are so appreciated.

                                                Joseph McKinney


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Second Generation, Part II

By
In 1993 when we came in contact with a young struggling couple in Caruaru, Paulo and Simone, we never imagined what plans God had in store for them. Now 18 years later (Wow, has it been that long?), after conversion, ups and downs, growing pains, working to further the Kingdom and living it, they have had the pleasure to witness the beginning of their daughter's life in Christ. Juliana (age ten) was baptized by her older brother, Jheymerson, who was also ten years old when he gave his life to Jesus. What a wonderful blessing to have one's whole family saved in Christ! Maria and Cícero were also converted when we lived in Caruaru, though single at the time. They dated and got married, the ceremony performed by yours truly. Maria has been faithful to Jesus all these years though going through several difficulties. Cícero, on the other hand, fell away, but came back and renewed his life and his marriage, and now, along with Juliana, his daughter Vitória (age ten) was baptize...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Fall of a god

By
     A lot has happened since the last time we talked.  The World Cup has ended, and Brazil was not the champion, in fact the country was shamed by a 7 to 1 loss to Germany .  There were not many riots as people were expecting to happen.  People just went back to work and still a over a month later talk about how bad Brazil played.  The expectations to win a World Cup have been pushed back many years.  Germany seems to be the favorite to win the next World Cup.      There are many Brazilians who, I guess you could say, worship soccer.  Yes, soccer is their "god".  They may not think so.  I am sure they would all deny this fact because it sounds outrageous, but they eat, sleep, and drink soccer.  They stay out late at night with strangers at soccer matches instead of being with their families at home. They take their meals in front of a soccer game on TV instead of eating at the table with their famili...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Planting, the Watering, and the Increase

By
Emesson started coming to Bible Club over a year ago, when Neil Schultz and Cait Beckloff, our AIM team, were teaching it. For several months, they planted the seed in his and his sister's hearts. Unfortunately Neil and Cait's time in João Pessoa ended. In 2014 Bible Club received a boon when Erick and Jenny Paddy, former AIMers, returned to the field and picked up teaching the Bible Study for English speakers. They watered the sprouting seed in Emesson's life until God's Word became more important for him than just practicing his English. Last Wednesday night, God gave the increase, adding Emesson to the Family of Christ. Sometimes things don't happen when we think they should, but God is in control; His time is best, and we must thank Him for playing a small part in His plan. 
Post a Comment
Read more